So Little Mister is in bed. He’ll sleep for about two hours and then wake up and want a feed. But for now anyway, he’s tucked up, swaddled nice and snug, and smelling faintly of vomit.
It’s one of the things on the list of many things I thought, pre-baby, I would never do. Putting the baby to bed in the clothes he was a little bit sick on. But then, pre-baby, I didn’t know what it felt like to have spent every night for the past month getting up every two hours to breastfeed. (It feels, by the way, like you are living in some surreal underwater dream-world where sometimes you manage to respond in whole sentences when people talk to you.) And I also, pre-baby, didn’t know that if the baby spews a little and falls asleep – you do not, under any circumstances, wake him just to change his clothes. Of course, I never knew how precious a treasure a sleeping baby was.
Until Milin was about a month old, I would change his clothes often. Perhaps it was because we weren’t very adept at ensuring the nappies were on properly. More likely though, it was because I wanted to look at him in his many, many cute and tiny new born outfits.
Five months on, Milin is spending tonight in the same vest he wore to bed last night. I’ve not got round to changing it yet. Tomorrow, if I manage to get us both out of our pyjamas, we will have achieved more than we did today.
Of course, I love dressing him in his many, many, cute and tiny outfits. But when it’s the coldest day of the year and he’s so snug and the little bit of sick is dry – there just seems very little point. Particularly because changing time could be sleeping time, and sleeping time is precious and to be strived for above all else.
As for that mental list of things I would never do – use the television to distract him, get takeaways two nights in a row, compare Milin’s achievements with those of other babies – etc etc – it didn’t take me long to realise that it was unrealistic to say never. Now Little Mister is calling the shots, I don’t have a list anymore. We just do whatever works – and it’s different each day.