WHAT gave me the right to judge the man in the park who stood around with his mates while his baby slept in the swing? Was it that his little one, younger than the Little Mister, was so slumped forwards that he looked extra forlorn? Or was it that the baby was so completely fast asleep, cap on a slant, that he looked extra pitiable? Or was it that the little guy looked so especially tiny while he was surrounded by the group of men gathered around the swings?

Parent-judging. It’s ugly. But I still do it. I detest being on the receiving end. But I still do it.

The Little Mister and I, after a pretty amazing morning walk around the zoo (where we crawled on the grass and hung out with a wallaby, a giraffe, a pelican and a duck), tried to go to the swings. It’s one of our go-to activities with the park just around the corner and a bit of fresh air is never a bad way to tire the little boy out.

As we got close, I decided we’d keep on walking and give the swings a miss. At 3.30 in the afternoon, a group of young men were gathered around the bench and swings, smoking, drinking, and looking generally harmless but not particularly inviting.

But as we walked past, I saw the baby. He was small. Smaller than Milin. The swing was completely still, because he was asleep in it. His arms were hanging over the top. His chin on his chest at an angle, his head was slumped forward. He was so little, and so asleep.

Around him, they smoked, drank, laughed. He slept. I judged.

What do I know? Perhaps those parents hadn’t had sleep in four days? Perhaps the swing was the only way they could get a break, and he could get some sleep. What do I know? Nothing about them. But my heart ached for that little boy, sleeping in that swing, while the grown up boys around him got on with their day in the sun.

4 thoughts on “Parent-judging

  1. I absolutely know this feeling, see these things all too often where I think “gosh, I would never do that.” But, as a parent, I already do things that I thought I never would before I had kids.

  2. Oh Kiran, things like this play on my mind for quite some time and make me sad and angry. You can certainly judge on the fact that they were breaking the law! The liquor ban and I believe there is now no smoking in playgrounds.

    Opps, baby reaching for knife as I vent my frustration! Karma.

  3. You paint a picture so well, and I feel really upset about this (as you did). Totally know what it’s like to feel judged but I wonder if this was warning bells going off to signal something isn’t quite right? When you put 2 and 2 together something doesn’t add up with this situation. Passing judgement on breastfeeding vs. bottle or private vs. public is one thing, but a group of guys drinking and smoking around a baby slumped and forgotten in a swing is another. My heart is aching for the little one too. x

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